It was never the same, only the pain was familiar. I was myself, but at the same time I was not. It was as if someone had stripped my soul from my body and strung it above, giving an aerial view of the torment I would once again go through. My body before me was a mess. There was no blood, which I assume had been cleaned off earlier. I was stripped naked, covered in so many scars it looked like I’d marched against an army and every man in it had stuck me. Most notable of these scars was where it appeared my limbs had been torn from my body, then skillfully sewed back on. There was almost no trace except for the thin line of darkened flesh where the sutures had dissolved. There was even one around my neck, where it met my shoulders. Unsuccessfully I tried to move my body, but alas the disembodied spirit that I was trapped in could do no such thing.

Dimly I become aware of the room my body was kept in. From my wrists were heavy shackles that were connected to the ceiling by equally heavy chains. Similar irons were around my ankles, though following the chains I saw that they were attached to metal rings in the ground at either end of the room. The room was plain, no furniture in it, no adornments upon the walls, hell not even any windows. It was a plain stone room, each wall perfectly sculpted out of some dull gray stone. Then I noticed there were no candles or lanterns hanging from the walls or ceiling, yet the room was so well lit that it appeared the sun had made this room its residence. I was aware of every detail so accurately I could count the hairs in my nose given the proper angle. This baffled me, but I suppose being in this state ignored the laws of man.

My gaze returned to the body. It appeared that someone had cleaned me up, there was no dirt on my face, and my long dark hair reached my shoulders and shimmered with some oil. By focusing I could smell it, some mixture of lilac and another flower. Its pleasantness surprised me. Stranger still I appeared to be fit, as if I was fed three meals a day, and hearty ones at that. Even in my wealthiest days I never managed to be that well fed.

Some small part in my brain nagged at me. I’d been here before, seen this over and over. Yet I couldn’t quite place the memory, even though it seemed to be so fresh. As I pondered this, the pain returned.

It was the most intense pain I’d ever experienced, though that small part recalled it. First I become the aware of the heat, so hot and intense I could feel it radiating off my skin. I could feel it in my bones; burning through my muscle, my blood boiling. With horror I watched my flesh melting, dripping to the floor like candle wax. No scream came from my mouth, though it was so wide. I could hear my blood sizzling! The heat intensified, so greatly that my eyes popped and burst into flame, the fluid in them acting as some sort of accelerant. Then the scream came. I howled, putting my very soul in it. It bounced off the walls and the pain in it was unbearable. Blood began pouring from my ears, eyes and nose, slowly at first then in great rushing rivers. I’d never seen so much blood and I’d killed many men in my life. Or I suppose had, surely I was dead and in hell?

As suddenly as the pain had appeared it was gone, all trace of it as well. My body was whole again, unmarked by the recent trespass of pain. Suddenly there was a door where none stood before and it swung open. Horrid things rushed in. They were small and stunted, hairless and wicked looking things. They had the snouts of rats, but the eyes of an owl. Long fingers clutched curved scythes which they swung, slamming the blades into my body. They ran around me hacking and slashing as I screamed and screamed. I shut my eyes as they swung and swung, each new blow giving new life to my screams. This went on for hours, until I began to wonder how there was anything left of me for them to mutilate.

I became aware of a faint sound of metal dragging on stone. As it grew closer the things that were attacking me swung faster and began jabbering in some guttural language that sent chills down my spine. Soon the sound was so close I knew it was right outside the room. My eyes shot open as the door once again slammed open. The man came through the door, though he had to crouch to get in. Once in the room he stood to his full height, at least eight feet taller than I, and I stood at a little over six feet. It wore nothing except a black loincloth and a black hood. I could see nothing inside the hood, the darkness was so intense. In its hands was the larger sword I’d ever laid eyes on.

The smaller twisted things rushed it. The first two were swept aside by one massive hand, crashing into the wall and laid there stunned. The next one was impaled by the massive sword, blue blood dripping to the floor. The final two of them managed to get behind the man and began rapidly striking its legs. He roared with pain that shook the whole room. With speed that it did not appear to possess, it twisted and took one of the beasts by the waist. He raised it to the hood and from the blackness came a strange tendril looking mouth. The tendril opened and released a terrible screech, inside I could see thousands of rows of teeth, small and sharp. The tendril darted in, clamping down on the smaller thing, pulling back and taking with it a hunk of flesh the size of a man’s head. It darted again and again at the thing, I could see the meat traveling through the tendril like a snake swallowing a mouse. I vomited profusely.

While the man ate that creature, the other one behind it continued slashing. Around the man, blue blood covered the floor, both from himself and the diminishing remains of the creature it was devouring. The two that had struck the wall recovered and rushed the man, adding their own tiny flurry of blows. All of which seemed to have no effect. The thing on the man’s blade twitched a little. The tendril mouth released another screech and struck at one of the other creatures, removing its whole head at the base of its neck. The body dropped to the floor which did not slow the remaining creatures attack. In fact, one had actually began climbing the man’s body, still stabbing the whole way. The one on the ground was grabbed, the man’s fist enclosing on its head, crushing it. Blue blood seeped between his fingers. The tendril mouth tried to snap at the last one, but it had reached his back by now and was out of range. Undetermined to slaughter the smaller creatures, the man took the hilt of his blade in both hands and drove it through his own chest, narrowly missing the beast. He pulled it out with a sickening noise and stabbed himself once more, this time impaling the thing. As he pulled the blade back through his body, the thing hit the ground with a thud, twitching a little.

The man pulled the other beast off the base of his blade and began devouring it, paying no heed to his wounds. He made short work of that thing and moved to the next and next. In minutes it was only him and I in the room, the only sound my screaming through vomiting my guts up and the dripping of his blood. The tendril shot back into the hood and the man turned to face me. He stood and took a step towards me, the chains on the ground rattling at the giant’s step. He came to stop three feet from me, and knelt down, bringing the hood level to my face. I couldn’t look away though I desperately wanted too. Dread filled me, staring into that blackness, waiting for the tendril to shoot out and devour me. Instead the man reached up with both hands, dropping the massive blade. Each hand took one side of the hood and threw it back. I screamed.

Two things exploded in my head. One I became aware that my vision had returned to being inside my own body. The second was that the man looked exactly like me, the features blown up to make up for the man’s increase in size. I needed to leave, my body locked up and I could not even scream anymore. In the man’s eyes I saw pain and sorrow, so deep and I became aware of an understanding this was my future. I was to be tortured and destroyed until nothing remained of me except an empty husk to be reformed into this monstrous version of myself. My terror magnified so greatly I lost all control. Warm piss began flowing down my legs and salty tears from my eyes. This man was not my savior.

The tendril shot out then and I flinched expecting to feel its sharp bite. Instead it began making a choking sound and I could see something coming up its throat. I expecting some strange bile that would burn, but instead a blue, long and narrow tongue shot out. It began flittering through the air, like a serpent. The tongue moved around my face, my eyes locked to its every move. It came to rest on my cheek and instead of the wetness I expecting, I felt a sharp pain. The tongue was rough like a cat’s, only more so. As it left my cheek I felt blood begin pouring. It continued its path downward, shooting in and out even faster than when it was devouring the monsters from before. Everywhere the tongue touched me, the flesh was stripped away. I screamed, my voice hoarse and my throat burning. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the beast shuddering with ecstasy, its body twitching uncontrollably.

I was returned to that spirit vision so suddenly that I literally felt my soul ripped from my body. I could still feel the pain and somehow, watching the man move down my body taking every inch of flesh I possessed from this vantage intensified it. I could also now see the things back. There were things crawling around underneath its skin, every time they passed the open self-inflicted wounds I caught a glimpse of them. They appeared to be worms or serpents of some kind, slowly I watched them spitting some ooze that was sealing the wounds up.

The man that I was to become released a mighty roar and fell to the floor. Its ecstasy had reached a point where it was lost in the pleasure. The blue tongue shot back down the tendril which then returned into the man’s mouth. Slowly, his hands gripped his chest, the claws began digging in. I watched with horror as he ripped his own chest open and the worms shot out. In the room I could see them better which further intensified my revulsion. They were the length of my arm, pink and scaly yet covered in a dark hair. Their mouths resembled the tendril’s but without the tongue. Lifeless slits that I took to be eyes fixated upon me. There were three of them and they began wiggling towards my chained up body. I screamed and screamed at them to stay away, but still they came. They reached my foot and began wriggling up my body, leaving a trail of ooze. Their touch was ice cold. Tears fell freely now, I wept and begged for mercy, wishing for death to end this never-ending nightmare.

One of the worms reached my head and forced open my mouth before crawling down my throat. The others followed. I could see their path, my skin bulging where they went; the cold so intense that it burned. I threw my head back, mouth agape facing the ceiling. Blood shot out in pints like a geyser. My body began shriveling up as they drained and forced the blood from my body. A small part of me was astonished there was any blood left.

Once my body was a mere husk of its former the self, the worms ate their way through me. Two emerging from my stomach and one from my thigh. They left gaping holes as they shot out and began wriggling towards the man. He still lay on the ground convulsing as the worms crawled through the hole in his chest which was already closing by other worms that had remained in his body. The only sounds in the room were my sobbing and the man’s strange ecstatic noises. This went on for what seemed like hours. I lost all track of time. Seconds could have been years and I wouldn’t have known or cared. All I wanted was an end, to die and be rid of this hellish place.

I became aware of a distinct silence. I looked up, the man was gone, as was the blood and gore. My body was whole again. I did however note a new collection of scars that had not been there before. Quiet footsteps threw my gaze to the door. Though I could barely hear those steps, the room was so silent that there were as clear of thunderclaps. My heart pounded so rapidly that I was amazed that it did not drown out the footsteps. Uselessly I tried to silent it and held my breath. Hoping the owner of those steps would not realize I was in the room and pass by. Dimly I was aware of how stupid this was, but I clung to my faint hope.

Finally the footsteps came to a stop at my door. Chills ran down my spine as the door slowly swung open a crack. Between this crack slid in the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. She shut the door behind Her and I was slammed back into my body. I watched Her approach, all my terror fleeing and replaced with a warm glow. No one this perfect could mean harm to me, She could not be capable of anything but the most pure form of good. She stopped at an arm’s length away from, studying me with tears in Her eyes. They were a beautiful green that reminded me of home, back when I was nothing but a farmer’s son. Her eyes brought me to the meadows I would play in, of the bushes I would pick blueberries from. Looking more intently I could spot flecks of amber and gold and forest leaves. I smiled and tried to speak, but couldn’t. She beautiful long dark tresses, as if some god attached thousands of strands of black silk to Her scalp. It fell past Her waist and shimmered with oil that smelled like hazelnuts and roses. Her skin was tanner than mine, like the foreign girl in my hometown I secretly had a crush on. I longed for Her touch, desired it above else. Everything was forgotten but Her.

Slowly, as if sensing my need, She reached one hand out to my cheek, cupping it. I shuddered at Her touch, a warm glow racing up my spine. Her eyes still held tears and I vowed I would slay the one responsible for causing Her grief. That was when my brain kicked in and I realized She was crying because of the state I was in. Her other hand went to my wrist and pulled the shackle loose. My arm fell numbly to my side, unable to move even as my brain screaming at it to wipe away Her tears, assure Her I was fine. She undid the other shackle and I fell. She caught me and staggered under my full weight; She couldn’t have been any taller than five feet. Slowly we went to the ground, where She gently sat me down and undid the shackles trapping my ankles. By then I had regained the feeling in my arm enough to finally wipe a tear from Her cheek. I smiled with some difficulty.

“I’m here my love.” She spoke and the glow filled my entire being. Her voice made my heart leap, it caught in my throat and I couldn’t reply. She smiled, her perfect teeth and lips like snow behind a bushel of roses. I needed Her.

I placed a hand on Her back and drew Her towards me, our faces so close I could hear Her blinking, see the individual eye lashes fluttering. I buried my head in her shoulder and wept uncontrollably. My sobs shook the both of us, She patted my back gently and lovingly as She whispered soft words in my ear. Cold chills went down my spine as Her soft breathing fluttered across my neck.

“It’s okay Emer, I’m here.” She pulled me closer, tightening her grip around me. “I’ll never leave you.”

It was if some magic spell was cast when She spoke my name. I must have Her. Sensing my arousal and my need, She slipped one hand behind my neck and drew our lips together. My whole being trembled with such potent desire. Our kisses become more passionate, our hands pressing more firmly into one another’s skin. With tender ferocity I ripped the simple white gown from Her body and threw it aside. I laid Her down and took Her then. In that moment nothing else mattered, only the two of us and this act. I lost all track of time and didn’t care. Eternity was not long enough for me in that moment.

I don’t remember when the two of us returned to sitting positions, She had redressed and I too was wearing clothing, though only loose fitting trousers. Our eyes were locked, simply staring at one another in what appeared to be stupor derived from love. Some small part in my brain whispered to me, warning me of treachery and grave danger. As it continued whispering, I recalled that small part being much larger and screaming rather than the susurrus it was today. I struggled to make out the words but could not understand. When I tried to focus I could hear the voice louder, yet it became distorted as if the speaker was being muffled by some cloth. My head began to ache as I concentrated, desperately listened. There was a grave urgency to the tone.

She spoke my name again and I snapped back to her, the voice all but forgotten. She had stood up now and was offering me a hand which I accepted. I got to my feet with Her help and we kissed once more. Again the passion threatened to overwhelm me, but I knew that I could not repeat that again. She asked me to come with her and I agreed. As we began making our way to the door, it seemed as if time slowed. I was thrown back into that hanging spirit view and the voice that I heard earlier was screaming at me. Do not go with Her it said, over and over it repeated this until it seemed that the voice had always been there. My legs obeyed known of my commands, the pair of us just kept walking towards the door hand in hand. As She passed through the door, my body turned and looked directly at my soul. It smiled and waved to me.

“All is well. Goodbye.”